Lonely Night... Living in Sadness...

It’s raining calm and cold night. While in my mind is thinking about sad part of my life. Alone and feel empty, missing to smile and miss the feeling of someone who loving me in special way. Sadly there’s no one at all because things ended up and turn to failure.

Can someone able to answer me is it bad to have a pure dedicated heart? I’m questioning again myself for all the wrong things might possible I had. Trying to figure it out but I cannot find the answer. Why is it difficult for me to find love? I know myself how to be genuine in love.

It’s because maybe I’m the most boring person in whole wide world. I’m not wealthy or famous, maybe because I’m not daring or sexy. But the thing I only know is being kind and live with grace. Is it wrong? How does it happen that it’s hard for me to grant my wish to be happy? Finding the love of life is it because I’m hard to get type and old fashioned?

Why I always ended up in pain when I was fall in the idea of pure loving heart that I only dedicate to the only person who I loved.

Why my heart always living in sadness? Why there is no someone brave enough to fight for me when even I know that I will fight for him?

I get more vulnerable, living in pain but keep trying and I wish there will be a sun that shine through and let me know why things happen this way.

It is really painful and I can’t really describe it all I can do is to cry and let my tears flow. I wasn’t even that bad person loving someone but why is it happening this way?

Because maybe I really don’t deserve to be loved and I’m about to get there believing that I’m too much asking the heaven to answer my prayer of happiness and I’m not worth for.

(Crying…)