No turn back, but here I' am waiting...

I never heard anything about Fredrik after he tries to explain his part of breaking up our relationship. I can still picture and how fresh until now the pain being in that unexpected scenario. That makes me cry often. The moment when we both cry, he wants to break up with me. (Crying…)

I cannot hide the pain even now still about what happen, I takes me so long and takes me longer to be ok I know because it gives me much joy plus the pain.

And everything will take me a long process to deal with it and make it. But for sure I know things will not be so easy for me. “If my pain can carry all his pain let it be me and make the heaven or universe save him from the sad part of his life and may the wind blow and turn into happiness”. And if that happiness is for him to find another deserving woman its additional hurt for me but I know he will be happy that is not me the woman meant for.

(Shed of Tears…)

I cannot control the fate I want for myself and want for his life even I wish I’m that woman who can able to show and share my love and his love for us. But it didn’t work because he decided to end it up. He doesn’t deserve to suffer for a useless woman like me instead a woman who can be with him and fulfilled his needs. True maybe I’m just no nothing because I can ruin his life more.

It can things easily turn into the way we want it its simple but then it’s really hard when you fall in love to the right one but in the wrong time and wrong situation.

And I know that when he left me and go through to his own way of choosing his own path there’s no turning back. And I feel hes too far from me at all. But still I’m waiting until the possibility, even just my wish to be heard that I was truly love him and never ever forget him.

He is a remarkable guy I put inside in my heart and I will keep it even he does not felt the same way. “Mahal na mahal kita Fredrik even if you will not come back my heart waits as long as I have this faith loving you”.