It’s raining the Sky is crying…

It’s a calm night, silent and peaceful at 11:45pm. I’m browsing his Photos and everything. I’m smiling on his cute faces, I remember how much he mean for me for making me feel good and better every time I saw him and talk to him. It feels like I’m living in yesterday the moment we meet and knowing each other. I stare on his photo.

Silently smiling and whispering I miss him and I love him. Fredrik is a wonderful man he’s my dream guy. He often telling me I’m his dream girl. So I feel the same way.

The rain started to fall I heard the sound of rain drops outside and I was watching his VM (Video message) the only 3 VM I have, I try to go back with our old conversation. And suddenly I feel like the sky tonight is crying till my tears flow and all I have to do is cry. Crazy right?

I was smiling, laughing and then cry again.

I actually feel the presence of lonely night. It’s like make me feel that I don’t deserve to be happy instead to realize that love is truly not meant for me.

I’m more deserve to hurt and failed but I don’t know why and what’s the answer. Why me? Why me? There’s no bad to love so real and genuine, stay the loyalty and being kind. I try to analyze what’s really wrong about me? I try and try and try… I’ve never been badly to someone or use them or take advantage.

I honestly say that if you seen I wasted my time being so real and true as me then for me it’s not waste it’s the way I’ am. But then how come I see those people who are badly real get what they want.

(Crying…)

I’m so tired, I’m tired every time I fall and it ends up the same way. FAILED, FAILURE , BREAKUP, PAIN, HEART BREAK.

I miss to smile the true smile the reason why I smile. I’m living and hiding alone, crying and having sleepless nights. Thinking about him and missing him so much but there is no magic to heal the pain. All I can do tonight is just to cry like the rain that falls this night… (Shed of tears…)