Silent LOVE

My heart still longing, hoping, asking, praying, believing that everything happens have reason, but that reason is still missing on me.

I never yet find out or accept to myself how this thing comes to this end?

I hear many say moving on, some say the guy who left me is fool and some say I’m not worth to love for. But how do they know what exactly I have in my heart in which yes I’m hurting and in pain but the love I have for the man I knew I love is Fredrik and it doesn’t change.

Although reality tells it already end up, reality shows things is enough and done. He doesn’t seek for me at all, even finding time for me. He chosen to break me up and walk away from me to have his own way of living without me at all.

He doesn’t want a burden like me, he need to grow and find love only for his self and priority. It’s painful it’s always reminding me that I’m worthless regards relationship. I try and try harder as much as I can what I did so wrong? How come it often happen people left me where I need someone to stand for me, beside me and be with me the most?

Maybe I was so wrong believing too much that someone can able to love me. (Can’t control to cry) That someone can hold on and fight for me as I will fight with him too but patiently wait for us to meet the chances for us to see each other.

I don’t regret I was loving him, in fact I’m still loving him even he’s out of loving me. The love I have for him keep stay and he’s already feel very far away from me and maybe his love for me faded. I don’t know I don’t have idea but that’s how it shows of being disconnected in his life.

And who am I to insist and expect that he might feel the same way. He breaks me up; accept the matter that he can able to smile and live without me. I understand that, it was remarkable when he makes me realize how being incapable as I ‘am. And I’m so sorry for me, he left me those insecurities that I’m limited, unhelpful, disturbance and I remember a burden, Seeing myself being a burden in relationship.

(Tears flow over)

I’m so sorry for what my life can do and cannot for you, living in third world country and label myself that I’m not far for those unfortunate people living.

I know I admit it I’m not wealthy in money, having the luxurious lifestyle, I’m not capable to travel and flew there for you.

Sorry for myself… Te only rich is my heart for loving you and it’s countless and priceless. If this is the only way for me to do loving you silently I will accept that with all my heart because that’s what the truth is. I’m still loving you even I’ve never heard anything from you at all.