60 Day's of Hurt and Pain

Now it’s the 60days of having without Fredrik with me. I guess the time he practices his self without me it can easily for him to forgot everything we have. Maybe he already use to it not talking with me or seeing with me at all.

Its hard still for me to wake up this way, to see myself that before were not like this. We are happy talking to each other, smiling, loving, seeing each other and spend time the most as we can. And it’s precious. It’s a symbol of love fighting the distance that apart us from each other. The letter I made is what my heart wants him to realize and inspire him having simple things he can able to have tangibly. I do want to feel the way he hold me, hug him, kiss him and being with him thru thick and thin. I want to spend the rest of my life to him if the chances keep giving us the strength to keep going. But then he already lost his part. He don’t need me at all, he don’t need someone like me to be with him because I cannot do no nothing at all.

How many times I can say this to you. But again and again “I’m so sorry because I’ am not capable to help you with your struggle and forgive me with that”.

I’m just a simple plain ordinary type of person, I’m not wealthy if you find that way as a burden I begging you and apologize for being nothing but to love you.

And I know you seen it’s still not enough to shoulder another burden for your life. I don’t blame anything for what happen. But I know myself that I don’t longer want to be in this situation leaving me. And I don’t want you too also to struggle that way. Your hardship and sadness is also the same feeling for me and your happiness is also my happiness.

Even you break my heart I still have this big space for you to embrace the love just only for you. But everything what I’m wishing for is impossible in reality and I know wherever you are you already accept so easily to forget everything. But to focus in your own life and own way.

Thank you for Love that I feel the moment you value me. Thank you for let me smile always when I’m with you, thank you for the time you sit and read my crazy hand written letters you had, thank you for many memories to look back and I treasure all of it and I guess I still thank you even for the heart break and pain you given to make me realize the only thing I can capable and prove to do is to love, love genuinely with all my heart.

Now it’s been 60days since our sweet stories done and there’s no more Rio and Fred at all. I always pray for your safety and good life. Thank you for being my everything and for everything.

(Crying…)