My Heart Miss Him

Can still not get over about what’s happening with my heart broken. The feeling that you miss him so much and you wonder if he feel the same way, asking to yourself if he miss me too. But no answer at all, you can’t able to find where you can get. All I can do is to get back and reminisce the sweet moment we had. This is the 12 days I’m still crying every time when time stop and loneliness visit me. Can’t stop tears flow. I just think that this is exactly he wants to happen, to easily forgot me or maybe he forgot me already. It’s really hard to accept because in my heart I really don’t want to accept that it’s already end.

(Crying at the moment…)

But I should remember I’m always a burden not only to him but also to anyone. I trying to find to escape for this sadness but I can’t for a while. Why me? Why my heart often ends in this way? Why this happening to me, I give my best and being true always. Now this will take me a long long way to recover all the pain that cause. My heart tired crying but still going, hoping, assuming, seeking for answers. The hope is faded and getting gone soon…It always reminds me that I need to face this alone, feeling the emptiness when I need him the most, wishing that he will be back. But there’s no turning back at all. I don’t know where to find strength; I don’t know how to deal this without him at all. I’m so hurting inside; the pain emotionally kills all the joy and positive things. It crashes down, feels like I want to still hold on. And it’s a long days I never heard at all about him or even see him. But there’s no reason at all I’m the only one who is not yet trying to move forward because I still stick to the love I was dedicated to him. But a worthless like me don’t deserve and destined to LOVE because I often nothing. All I’ve got is a mess, burden I’m a burden and maybe I’m a curse.

He’s already far away now and no reason at all to him to look back and tell things about what I did. Everything is done…But I still Love him and I love him the most and nobody can’t take place of him in my heart. I don’t want to learn that Life is about being alone but if this is the fate that really for me, a big sorry for me. Sorry coz I’m not enough, sorry coz I did not deserve to fight for and sorry coz I can’t help. My eyes are tired I miss to smile, a smile with genuine reason to do that. My heart doesn’t want to beat for LOVE coz I truly massively devastated for losing someone special.I’m asking for second chance maybe I need something to make it right as my prayers but it feels like the heaven, the stars don’t want to grant it at all. The Sun don’t want to shine at all and it’s like I’m howling in full moon saying I can’t never ever got him back or being him again. Because I’ am not meant to LOVE. Because I’m always give all the love to my heart. I’m really lost, I’m really alone, and I’m really tired and sad.

I do really miss you and I love you so much Fred...