Healing the Scars and wound of my HEART

After all the damages i had in my heart, sometimes it turns people to feel afraid to fall again, hurt and play by someone. The trust is hard to regain and it feels like all men in this world will fool you.

I need to protect my self with all those kind of people who will break me again, let me feel so down and play. I need to find and love again my self even though im still want to feel kiss and to be embrace by someone special. Kiss all the pain inside of my heart, listening on my heartache and be my shoulder to cry on. I need a person who will stand at me in my weaknesses, a soldier who is BRAVE enough to fight for me and LOVE me again. (I said BRAVE and STRONG) I know LIFE goes on and breaking your heart will give you a reason to make a better start. Every Stories end but possibly it can have new chapter in Book of our LIFE. And i need time to process to regain my strength, to boost up my faith and believe again that LOVE is truly exist in right time, right place and the right person who is your destiny. People get tired and its normal i know, i do feel the same way, my heart for a while is tired but it doesnt mean i dont want to LOVE again. Let me just heal all the pain i have, because in every storm theres always a rainbow and sun that comes up. I need to motivate again my self, find the right track and still stand up and show that Iám strong. That my genuine heart can still love again and the fourth time around. Let me renew all and fix my self, because you can't able to love someone if you can't able to love your self and thats what i do at the moment. Connecting my self again in Nature to see the beauty of LIFE, getting back and loving more and more my passion of taking photos and observe the different kind of LIFE of people. Still believing to the harmony of Music that makes me feel better everytime i listen to it. I need to walk forward and see my self in better way as a better person than yesterday. Inspire my self for all the lesson ive learned in my beautiful mistake and believe that no matter how hard to find a right one for me I'am deserve to be happy too, to love and be loved. LIFE is up and down, we feel happy and sad, smile and cry and most of all we appreciate things and sometimes not, but we need to keep going and live for what is the present life. My eyes already run dry crying, i can able to smile now even a while, learning to focus in those thing that i need to pay attention than to think and live for my PAIN. I dont need to be on rush, step by step, one by one and slowly but surely i will be OK. And soon i know i will feel better and be thankful for what happen in my LIFE and i can't wait for that. I wanna see my self standing and looking at the past while smiling and saying "All i had before is only a test and preparation for the real one, that is written as my DESTINY". And i really learn a lot of things about it, it just a matter of taking my time to smile, laugh, explore and meet interesting, sensible and nice people because they are actually insist in this world.

I need to stick and be still as a nice person and as me and never change for who I'am. The only thing that i need to change is those mistake ive learn but not the good one that i have before. I will still keep being honest, willing to love with my genuine heart, keep being nice and find a person who can able to connect on me in good way. I might be harder to get more than before, but i still have my heart and mind to appreciate nice people, willing to offer good friendship, share knowledges, share my passion and even to show my LOVE and respect to person who is deserve for. All the wounds and scars that i have will be an inspiration to me and i will keep always on my mind that never ever play people's feelings and play game because i already knew how it feels. And as much as i concern you will never ever want to be in that situation rather than hoping and want to feel being in LOVE. Because it's amazing feelings to feel your heart beat to someone special and feel the same way for you. And i can't wait again to feel it but hopefully let me have it a real real one. I alway's pray and believe that GOD is always there for me, he know whats the best for me more than i know and expect in my LIFE and want to. And when the time comes that this person prove a lot of things that he is the given one, the only ONE for me, he will have my puriest LOVE that only for him. My heart, my body, my mind, my soul and myself is only for him. And i will love him with all my heart and learn to be brave enough to take all the risk again and fight for his LOVE as long as he keep me as the missing pieces of his heart. My heart is still a HOME for us to build LOVE, RESPECT, LOYALTY, UNSELFISH FEELINGS, HAPPINESS, VALUE, CARE and learn and adapt the word CONTENTMENT. Sharing what really the meaning of LIFE is and getting old together and be his WIFE, cater him with LOVE and PASSION. Fulfill all his need and always guide him to be a good man and also consider as my friend and maybe sometimes an enemy but an angel in my LIFE.

I'am just here and i can wait for you... My heart is preparing to beat again and for this stranger man at first i know, but then he will be the most precious gift in my LIFE that can never ever compare to anything. Just let me heal the wounds and scars of my heart in time i will ready to LOVE again.