I Love you Goodbye!

I Love you Goodbye!

I need to move on after all the damages that I have because I let my heart to LOVE much this person. Now it's hard to believe him at all after what happen. He told me "he saw the potential of a happy life with me", he cares about me, he enjoyed our time together and I'm a type or one of a kind who is taking home him to his parents. How sweet right? but I wonder those words, how can he able to say that but not even prove yet? so it's only a word?. A sweet word that is nice to hear by anyone and of course specially to me to heard that. But I guess no need to seek at all the answers, the moment he told me " he scared when he realized my heart was truly loving him". It's clearly that Iám not enough, not that close enough for him to love, yes maybe i feel him bored as i often use to it, or maybe im too much showing my overwhelmed love to him. Maybe I'm a wrong person for him, or i did wrong for him. And most of all i often Intimidate him. Sorry for that and i do apologize if my heart was loving you so much. My mind wants to blame my heart for falling for him, but my heart won and saying it's naturally happen that i was fall for him and love him without any doubt. Loving him as a whole person and accept his imperfection. I did and if its a mistake, I will consider it as a beautiful mistake that happen for me. But i need to learn that i need to be alone on my journey without him. Theres no longer to stay even i want too. I'm not the one he need in his LIFE, it's hard to say goodbye even though he gives me a reason to cry like more than a river. Cried every night, thinking about him, wishing to picking up the broke pieces of our memories and fix it. But it doesnt make sense because i should accept that I was nothing on him. I was just only an instrument for him to find good things and make him realize those things he need to understand in LIFE. It can possibly inspired him to stop drinking alcohol that he often tells me, trying to fix his families and getting back to his wife and his kids who really need him the most or possibly get back to her ladyboy ex-girlfriend and realize after all the pain that cause of their misunderstanding, he still find out that he still love his Ex. No matter what with these three reason I'm hoping he will find his happiness and it will be also my happiness. It's hard to let him go to be honest but no reason to keep him stay at me if he is not happy at all to be with me. (My heart really really really broken at this moment) I LOVE YOU so much, it's crazy that I'am also same those he chatted who fall for him, but i did LOVE him in real so REAL. But I'am only a waste and easy to replace i know, I'm sorry coz i cant ever compare or reach or having those qualities you looking for. (I'am not really enough but i try harder and be at my best) I can't say anything at the moment all i know i was LOVE him and i was fall for him. You make me smile in many ways but you also make me cry in hardest way, but i need to be brave and strong to deal it. And all you taught me will be a treasure of yesterday, still thank you for treating me with respect and well as a woman. I will never forget that, i want to saved all my LOVE for him but its useless coz theres no reason to step back at all. And all the pain i have at the moment is a prove that i can still LOVE again, my heart is working and im still a human. I'm wishing you the BEST and your happiness. It's time for me to let you go and be FREE. (It's hard but i need to quickly learn to do it). Thank you for being a nice character in our short chapter of my stories i wont ever forget you. And i will never forgot the moment that someday my heart has been a HOME for us. And even you give me scars of pain you also give me the mark of happiness too. Thank you Marshall/Bryan. It was maybe my fault that loving you in which you are not happy to me sorry again for that. Wishing you all the BEST and you have my prayers always that you find your Happiness. I LOVE YOU but i need to say goodbye.

No need to worry about me because i know soon I will be okie. At the end of the day i know GOD will always be there for me and will give me the perfect love stories more than a fairytale. Your Happiness will be my happiness too.