Immaturity and Jealousy (The first pain and 2nd)

Because of too much enjoying to be with my sensei I never think the there’s a chances of arguments we might misunderstand for. The first is with this girl name Allena Carane (Come on I don’t easily forgot those remarkable character)

I feel happy being with you it feels like I don’t need someone to talk for just only you. Till I saw a tagged message from his facebook timeline that someone’s expressing her LOVE to my sensei. “I LOVE YOU BRYAN KAUTZMAN” at first I feel that my heart is crumpled and I feel hurt with that word. (I was really feel emotional) I feel jealous because I was just wondering, that im the one should I tell that to him, but the consideration turns to that girl and I was starting to argue with my sensei. I do apologize consider the others feeling in which id rather consider you first. I was just feel that I don’t have right to keep going to love you if someone already did that to you. And if this woman really loves you I should give way for her and let you both together. I just want her to be happy because I know and understand her feelings for you.

But I’ve got wrong about it. (Thank you for trying to explain and let me know about it) I should rather ask and listen first on your part and ask you if you really do love her too. And my sensei explain to me that this girl is the only one should post that thing in which is not that mean to him. (Right I’ve got insensitive on his part) And I should consider him first before others because the relationship we have it’s about us not the other people. I don’t know if my jealousy is also good for him to know that I already have feelings on him. Because I’ am now affected for what’s happening instead of no reaction or ignore things like that, that show or meaning to say im not affected. I appreciate all the action he did talking with that girl and explaining things that he likes someone and that is me. (And I admit I feel glad and feel he loved me). Till he shows some few conversations that make me feel comfortable and calm. I appreciate those actions he did and it’s also a reason to gain my feeling to him and glad we over come it. My sensei is a Goodman and he act depends on how he want things to be happen on what is right. And I appreciate that and I do apologize for inconsiderate you. But the good thing is already clear and done.

After few days here we go again, of course trials is always there to measure you strength and how you both strong together. It feels like my heart strike with a sharp knife. I saw a photo of him act like kissing someone. Who? (Oh yeah im not old enough to forgot it) With Ms. Clement Catarbas. I don’t need to ask anything about what they have or interrogate at all. At this time all I can see is wrong, totally wrong. The only question that I ask him is just “How does he feel if I do the same way kissing a photo of handsome guy as my chat mate” now tell me how does it feel? It’s not bad to have chat friends but it’s also important to be careful in every action and sensitive too. (I admit every time I saw it I makes my heart feel the pain) Why? How come that this girl can able to show in public, the photo without any hesitation that might someone know you in social media and accidentally see your photo? (But looks like you don’t care and admit you enjoy it) Yeah I cried about it like im a kid who was stolen a balloon or candy. But I assure that I will not do that to him coz he know me much. Apology accepted the moment that my sensei admit its wrong and he understand the feelings if I did that. He was admitting he was so careless and playful in which he should not be. But all I can do is to pay for it by crying and pray for the things happen. To be honest I want too do the same way to be proud for him and tell the world that im in loved with my sensei. Posting his photo and me together, but the one I considerate the most is to protect him and limit my self publish him coz of social media and that’s the reason why didn’t do the same thing without thinking my action. Coz I care with him and I can able to sacrifice for him. But if the chances asking I would be brave enough and be proud for my sensei without any hesitation. But being careful is important too. Again we overcome this matter and fix things in good way. I remember his promise being a good boy at all and being careful. After the pain it was change easily with joy and smile in my heart. He causes me hurt and pain but then he easily fades this thing away. Because of my love for him he is my happiness that’s why it can easily accepted and forgive him. Now I know there is more expected things to come that is more exaggerated for sure and we need to be ready in any obstacle that we will need to face. But no matter what happen with this issue we both have the heart for each other that makes us overcome. Mr. Khulet and Ms. Sungit did it and im so thankful with that.